Point of View:
How does one have to be comfortable with the word as I feel it reflects the wrong image for me personally. Some define me as a straight acting gay person and that is delicate for me ! I don't mind if you call yourselves queer but I feel I don't belong to
the "queer" community, I'd prefer the gay community and my lesbian friends are comfortable with this (we have discussed this briefly last night)...
A round of applause to the person who said labels are for jars...when people ask me whether I am gay or straight or bisexual...etc etc (I am sick of it). I simply explain that labels are for tinned food and not people as every gay people differ from each other, no two gay people are the same !
To me, identities are different from labels. I may identify myself with Christ Jesus because of the personality's kind, generous, and spiritual nature. (Label: Christian) I may perchance call Jesus the "Heavenly Father." (Label: Mormon) It's just all words.
Identity is a liberating, yet limiting thing. You may be a homosapien, deaf (hard-of-hearing, deaf in left ear, hearing-signer, whatever), and for the sake of the arguement, "queer." WHAT or WHO are you? I am audiologically hard-of-hearing, culturally Deaf and Hearing, writer, actor, performer, music lover, like my mates to be about the same age or older and the "tall, dark, handsome" bit, and gay. Which comes first for you? Which comes first for me? Hopefully, you'll all notice not any one of the traits, but the whole. And the entirety of that "identity" or being is me, Gary. When growing up, I found role models and certain personalities fascinating to the point that I would attempt to imitate them. However, times changed and so did I. What I felt when I was 13 became more developed, making way for complicating 14 year old feelings. Then came along another role model. It was a continuing process, but I changed identites (or if you will, labels) when I tired of them or could not relate to them. Today, I am 23 and could be a Queer. Tomorrow, when I'm retiring, I could just simply be gay or a "mainstreamer." However, the fact that I'm Gary never changes and those who recognize that fact will understand me and humanity better. Though, it never fails to puzzle me why people would restrict their freedom of expression just for the sake of a label or identity.
Let me take this time to write out ol' Webster's meaning for Queer: (1508 with origin unknown) differing in some odd way from what is usual or normal, eccentric, unconventional, mildly insane: touched, absorbed or interested to an extreme or unreasonable degree: obsessed, sexually deviate: homosexual, worthless, counterfeit, questionable, suspicious, not quite well. See STRANGE. Allow me to scream: YOU WANT TO "take back" THIS WORD? It's fashionable today, what will it be tomorrow? I would not identify myself as a "queer" and I know quite a few people won't identitfy themselves as a "homosexual" or "gay." Where is the unity? Every word has connotations, idea, and images, inviting restrictions on how you perceive one another. If you label me a queer, be my guest but you do yourselves a disservice.
Or simply, call me Gary.
I've been using the word "queer" since 1990 when I joined Queer Nation/SF. The word has, however, been around for over 80 years according to some of our queer historians. It's not a new word and there were times in the past that the word was used in a positive tone ("The Origins of the Word 'Queer'" to be posted on this page soon -- pending permission of author).
It is however, a word that many in our community (both Deaf and hearing) do not approve of. This is understandable given the way the word has been used in the last two decades. I remember back in 1992, when I first began publishing Coming Together Newsletter (now CTN Magazine), I used the word "queer" in our first issue (and in every issue since). I got quite an eye-full for it! Many in the community were unhappy that I had chosen to use the word. I've continued to use the word not because I am radical (which I am) but because I think it's an incredible word and I am proud to use it to identify who I am. I'm pleased to see that many in our community (both Deaf and hearing) are finally beginning to feel the same way.
Of course, there will always be people in our community that will never accept the word. I respect every person's choice to choose whichever words they are most comfortable using to identify themselves. I will, however, always be queer. And a proud one at that.
I also like the term 'Caddie Fan'.
We only live once, so we might as well be LOUD AND PROUD!
What Does That Mean?
I would encourage the deaf community to be more creative and to develop
their own words/signs for sexualities (as they have for many other topics).
The Hearing Community be damned. They invented the word Queer.
Here we are oppressed daily by the Hearing community and if we
"catch up" or absorb the Hearing Way of Life, we're applauded? Sounds
heterosexualist.
Now THAT's QUEER!
Two: The word "Queer" is supposed to be inclusive. Take a look around and see if there is really much inclusiveness
in Lesbigaytrans events? Some don't have interpreting services, representation of the Deaf community, nor even respect.
Many times, they call these events or organizations "Queer."
I extend the invitation to anyone who can point out the inclusiveness of this word. Not in intention but in Action.
And to Gary... yeah, queer is a hearing word... so are most words. ASL can not be easily written.. and until we all have powerful computers that can do real-time videos the hearing language will have to be used on the Net.
And to the 14yr old dyke on the open forum.. way to go girl... that's the age I came out too and being the only dyke in the area that was 14 I applaud her...
I like this page... very nice all!
From: Crystalle (CODA)
Date: Sun, 24 Dec 1995 01:15:25
Queer=inclusive
To me the word "queer" hasn't always been comfortable, but as a MtF
Lesbian transsexual single mom who is hard of hearing; what other word is
inclusive enough to mean me in this community? I hate labels but
sometimes they're all we get/have to work with. And besides, have you
ever seen the look you get when some idiot calls you queer and you say
Thank you w/ a smile. It shakes up their assumptions when someone
tries to shame you and you reclaim the power and pride of the word!
From: Marddy (a hearing person that doesn't sign)
Date: Sun, 31 Dec 1995 00:12:43
It's Stange
Queer is a strange word.
From: Saul (HH)
Date: Mon, 1 Jan 1996 00:24:32
I'm Proud to be One!
For me, "queer" is a word of pride and unity. I'm proud to be one!
From: Rather not say (Deaf)
Date: Tues, 2 Jan 1996 00:55:19
Don't like it!!!!
I hate that you call this Deaf QUEER Resource Center. I think it's shameful and promotes bigotery! You should ask Deaf people FIRST before you choose name as many Deaf DON'T like word "QUEER". I hope you will change it to something more decent like "GAY & LESBIAN."
From: David Vereschagin (a hearing-signer)
Date: Sun, 7 Jan 1996 06:40:23
Get over it.
Interesting that someone who chooses to remain anonymous (Rather not say) objects to using the word queer. Many hearing also don't like the
word queer, for the same reasons that Rather not say gives.
First, I like the word because it finally brings us all back together:
gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered. Having to use all four when trying to
be inclusive was a chore.
Second, I like the word because it helps to defuse the hate against us.
By taking the word and using it as our own, we can defuse its power
against us, as Crystalle pointed out. Just like reclaiming words like
faggot and dyke (or the word nigger for that matter), though I
suppose Rather not say doesn't like those words either.
Third, I like the word because it is aggressive, proactive and
confrontational. That sounds nasty, but it doesn't have to be. It can
be celebratory and it can be used as a re-education tool with
straights, reminding them that they have a lot to work on.
Fourth, I like using the word because it identifies me as being on the
activist edge. When I use it, people don't mistake me for some nice
assimiliationist apologist like Andrew Sullivan (a nice gay man,
definitely not a faggot or a queer).
There may come a day when the Deaf will find it useful and necessary
to reclaim terms like "deaf mute" and "deaf and dumb" in kind of the
same way. Of course, that's not for me to decide.
From: Gary W. (HH)
Date: Wed, 10 Jan 1996 11:46:58
What would you rather say?
Some deaf/Deaf people do not like the word Gay being used to describe only males since the word "Gay" is general. Some prefer being called "Dykes." It goes on and on. Personally, the term "Queer" is used to describe someone wierd, which only reflects the ignorance of the speaker. On occasion, I've replied, "So?" when being described as queer. It disarms the person, which is the goal. To me, if someone calls him or herself a "Queer," it implies militant activities or beliefs. (Ex: Queer Nation) I've been taught that Gay means you're a homosexual and practically happy with yourself and Life. When you're a homosexual, you are sexually attracted to those of the same sex, but not happy about it. All in all, they remain as labels only to categorize the community even further. Labels are for jars, not people.
From: Anonymous (Deaf)
Date: Thu, 11 Jan 1996 12:43:33
Re: Queer=Inclusive
I agree 150% with Crystall. "Queer" is a word that includes everybody and that is what we should strive to do. As a Deaf Bisexual, I know all too well what being left out feels like. In the community it's always "Gay and Lesbian" and rarely do people give a thought to adding "Bisexual" and "Transgenders" to that title even though we in fact very much a part of it. It hurts to not be included. That's why I like the word because it signifys togetherness and a community of one that is made up of many.
From: brittain (Interpreter)
Date: Fri, 19 Jan 1996 12:14:46
queer from queers
i like it when my queer friends call me queer, dyke, butch etc.
however such is not the case with straight people, then i accept only my name or lesbian. as for queer here, great! i agree that it is an inclusive term
From: Peter (a hearing-signer)
Date: Sat, 20 Jan 1996 11:01:02
"Queer" = Politically Aware
Based on some research I did for a class paper, people who use "queer" are more politically aware and involved in the gay rights movement than those who do not use the word. The word has pretty much become an accepted term with our younger generation of lesbigays. Those of us that are older are still having a hard time accepting the word. Why? Because we've never heard it used in a positive way until just recently.
From: A British male... (Deaf)
Date: Mon, 22 Jan 1996 09:57:04
"Queer" what's so queer about you !?
I don't know if the term "Queer" gives a different meaning to UK residents but we tend to use "Gay" more than other jargons.
From: BoinkyBear (Deaf)
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 1996 01:04:54
I Love It!!
I think it's great being Queer, but personally, I like Fag better: the sign for it is much more fun.
From: Gordon a.k.a. Kolekona (HH)
Date: Wed, 21 Feb 1996 15:20:45
Queer? How odorous...
In old days, gays were called queers just because they seemed acts
very strange to other so the name had been stuck on since then. Well,
since I am a very masculine & straight acting as an country boy, growing in countryside small towns with strong heterosexual influences on
me, so therefore, even I am actually an real half-bi gay man... I
could easily fools people & blend in with straight people w/o problems.
So... I really think the word "LESBIGAYS" would be better than 'queer'.
From: Terry (Deaf)
Date: Fri, 23 Feb 1996 14:03:58
Queer is only another word
I personally feel that in some cases the word queer is just another way of labeling or stigmatizing gays and lesbians. Then again it depends on who we use the word queer with. If we encourage people to use queer (which I have no objection to) we just need to remember that if someone calls us queer, we may be partially responsible for it, some will be offended and some will not. It seems like everything these days is political, Just be who and what you are and what works for some may not work for others.
From: Larry (HH)
Date: Fri, 1 Mar 1996 18:24:11
Taking back the word...
I was walking in Soho the other day and this chap and his friend who were hanging out on the street yelled out at me, "Hey queer!"
Being much bigger than both of these lads, I went up to him, looked him in the eye, and said... "Yeah, so ?"
You should of seen the look on this fellow's face! (laughing) Apparently he had expected me to rush on by hurriedly. Instead, I walked right up to his face. His friend mumbled something and excused himself and the lad was left alone with me. He looked terrified. I smiled, enjoying every second of it. The lad mumbled something I couldn't quite understand and rushed off. An experience I shall not forget anytime soon!
From: Kolekona Paulo Keo'Keo (HH)
Date: Sat, 2 Mar 1996 10:53:59
Me too, I agree with Terry
Yeah, I do agreed with what Terry had said that "queer" is a bit too
offensive anyhow. Especially in this New England "conservative"
gay cultures that are like way on other side of this planet rather
than what's in California which is so used to this word all the time
and sank into accepting it.
From: Robert Tan (HH)
Date: Sat, 2 Mar 1996 17:01:23
"Queer" ----> Just right
I think "queer" is a wonderful word! Having to say, "gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, and transgendered community" is a MOUTHFUL (er... HANDFULL, too!). It is so much easier (not to mention FUN) to just say "queer community."
From: Anonymous (Deaf)
Date: Mon, 4 Mar 1996 10:54:42
Labels
Someone in this forum wrote that labels are for jars. I've noticed that people often say this when discussing words or identities they are not comfortable with. For example, how many of us probably said something similiar when we were first struggling with coming out? ("Why do I have to say I'm 'gay'?" Can't I just be 'Jearld who enjoys the company of men'? Why do I HAVE to 'label' myself?") How many remember doing that?
Current day bisexuals go through this a lot. People being 'bi' is looked down on by both the hetro and the queer communities, it becomes hard to say, 'I'm bi.' Many bisexuals I know tell me, "I'm NOT bi, I don't label myself. I like both men and women, end of story."
Labels are part of our life. They serve to identify who we are and what we like. There is nothing wrong with labels. The problem is learning to accept those ('labels') that aren't widely accepted. The word "queer" is a perfect example of what I'm trying to say. It's widely accepted to call oneself "gay" but not "queer."
From: Macho Man (Deaf)
Date: Fri, 29 Mar 1996 10:28:38
Spreading like the Plague
Seems like the once dreaded "Q" word has now spread like the plague throughout the land! Queer theory, Queer politics, Queer art, Queer cinema, Queer TV, Queer film festivals, Queer parades, and now a deaf organization with the word "Queer" in it!!!
From: Mike (CODA)
Date: Tue, 9 Apr 1996 08:29:54
Re: Spreading Like the Plague
Actually, what's begun spreading is the acceptance of the word as a common term of identify of the lesbigaytrans communities. The word has been around a long time and has been used in a positive tone by the lesbigaytrans communities for well over 10 years.
From: Gary W. (HH)
Date: Tue, 9 Apr 1996 10:50:39
Labeling, Identities, Role Modeling, Posing, Entertainment
First off, I'd like to say that the reason for saying "Labels are for jars; not people" is not because I am uncomfortable with the word "Queer. I don't care what you may have categorized me within or labelled me, thus restricting my own freedom of expression. All words I say to you, after having been identified Queer, will be to you, the words of the "Militant Homosexual" movement (but to me, an upstanding citizen concerned about this great nation). Or maybe all my words, after being labelled as a "gay" man," will to you be representative of "Mainstreamers." though I really don't know what that means. To get to the point, labelling limits the labeler, not the labelee.
From: Louis Simpson (HH)
Date: Mon, 15 Apr 1996 15:04:49
Queer but not Militant
I'm glad to see the deaf community finally catching up to the hearing community in terms of politically correct vocabulary. "Queer" is a politically correct term to use and while it may have indicated a "militant" attitude in the mid eighties during the birth of ACT UP/QUEER NATION -- that's no longer the case today.
From: Anonymous (Deaf)
Date: Tues, 16 Apr 1996 09:15:23
What about sign language???
What is the ASL sign for "queer"? Same as "gay"? Do other countries have signs for "queer"?
From: Anonymous (a hearing-signer)
Date: Wed, 17 Apr 1996 21:43:51
An Australian Perspective
Sydney Australia is known for its Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras held
yearly in late Feb early March. There is a strong resentment for
the event to be labelled as a "Queer" Mardi Gras even though bisexuals,
transexuals and open minded straights ( not to mention the deaf contingents ) are proudly represented. Why
keep the old name? In Australia the decision to
turn such an event into an inclusive one ( by calling it Queer )
will probably not happen for some time, not until people become aware of
what Queer actually means. Thus far conservative Australians are
comfortable with the old labels, ( Queer is not yet a marketable commodity ) but that doesn't mean we shouldn't
begin challenging them. I'd say "Hear! Hear! for Queer" but I'd probably
be said to be making a bad joke.
From: Michelle (a hearing-signer)
Date: Sat, 27 Apr 1996 12:15:01
Curious to hear from Drago
Hey Drago, I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this word since you are the creator of the DQRC. Tell us!!!!
From: mebear (a hearing-signer)
Date: Sat, 27 Apr 1996 19:29:58
A Maine Bear's thoughts on the word "queer"
Stereotypes abounding, the word "queer" denotes a certain feminine identity, when in fact I am quite "butch" . However I do enjoy the irony of using the word, it indicates that" I know what you think I am , but I know that you just don't have a clue." Overall i prefer to use the word only when I'm sure everybody in the room "get's it."
From: Dragonsani Renteria (Deaf)
Date: Sun, 12 May 1996
A powerful word
The word "QUEER" is powerful. It's inclusive. It's radical. It's thought-provoking. It's in-your-face. It's a word of pride, politics, history.
From: Levi (a hearing-signer)
Date: Mon, 20 May 1996 16:15:40
Thoughts from the UK
I am quite happy being 'Queer'. It gives a sense of identity to me
and to the whole spectrum of bi, gay, lesbian, tanssexual... everyone!
From: Gary W. (HH)
Date: Fri, 24 May 1996 07:47:40
Catching Up
I really, really resent it when anyone feels "good" that the deaf
community is catching up with the hearing community.
From: Billy McCarthy (Deaf)
Date: Sun, 26 May 1996 15:19:02
Re: Spreading like the plague
You're right! It is spreading like a plague in the Deaf LBGT community. My friend recently showed me a copy of the latest Rainbow Deaf Society newsletter and even THEY have started to use the word! WOW! Not sure what to make of it. Personally, I prefer to use "LBGT" it is inclusive and short and doesn't sound so radical.
From: Susan Cergol (a hearing-signer)
Date: Fri, 7 Jun 1996 07:15:38
QUEER is good
I like QUEER because gay and lesbian people made it POSITIVE after
straight people made it a negative label. I also like DYKE and FAG
for same reasons. People who hate us will always invent words (or
change the meaning to negative) to hurt us, so we must take back the
words and make them positive for us. QUEER yes sounds a little
radical, but for the straight world who hates us, I'm proud to be
radical against them! I'm hearing, so I understand the comments
here about DEAF making their own words/signs not to copy hearing.
That's fine, but let's try not to separate ourselves too much!
From: Karl (Deaf)
Date: Mon, 10 Jun 1996 06:02:45
Us vs. Them
Gary says "queer" is a hearing word. Well, so what? Every word on this page must be "hearing" too because it is not ASL. I am so sick of the "us vs. them" attitude! We are all gay regardless of whether we are Deaf or hearing. Can we stop trying to separate ourselves from each other? It gets us nowhere.
From: Gary W. (HH)
Date: Wed, 19 Jun 1996 14:28:22
Us Versus Them
One: It brings us to the question of: Is your culture (Deafness) first or is your sexuality (Lesbigaytrans) first? The "Us vs. Them" issue applies to both, deaf and/or gay issues.
From: Anonymous (HH)
Date: Thu, 27 Jun 1996 15:39:13
RE: Us vs. Them
Ditto. I think saying we shouldn't use "queer" because it's a "hearing" word is so full of it!
It's the equalivant of: "You don't understand me because I'm Deaf."
From: Kate Easter (HH)
Date: Fri, 28 Jun 1996 13:02:05
a dyke...
I rather like the words 'queer', 'dyke', 'fag'.... words can hurt, but only if they are said and meant to do so. If I use the word dyke to describe *myself* does that mean I am putting myself down? well, damn then... I hate that. But if I use it in a positive, self-attributing manner than I am the dyke and that is okay.
From: W.M. (Deaf)
Date: Wed, 17 Jul 1996 09:27:38
The challenge...
Gary doesn't seem to feel the word "queer" is inclusive. What he doesn't seem to get is that by just using the word, instead of using "gay" one is in fact INCLUDING the other segments of the diverse gay, les, bi, transgender and transsexual communities.
From: Yosef Bennigard (Deaf)
Date: Wed, 24 Jul 1996 17:58:05
Unity & Acceptance
I think the word "QUEER" is a wonderful word! It is a symbol of "UNITY" and "ACCEPTANCE". Unity because we all come together as one, all drag queens, all the bi people, all the dykes. Acceptance because we learn to appreciate and accept the many differences between all of us. We are so unique! I know many have used "queer" in very ugly ways, but we can make it positive. It is our power to make it a positive word! We can!!!
From: Anonymous (Deaf)
Date: Fri, 2 Aug 1996 07:07:32
What is it?
Where exactly did the name "QUEER" originate from. Was it a classification by the holier than thou individuals. Would really like to know...
From: Sonya Moyer (Deaf)
Date: Mon, 5 Aug 1996 22:24:46
Who cares?
My partner is a lesbian vetern of 35 years. She does not like the word
queer because it means weird. She feels lesbians/gays are better words.
Anyone calls me queer, lesbian, butch, femme, dyke, non-straight,gay
whatever they call me is fine. Every word has several meanings.
Those words do not bother me. So what! At least I am a real woman.
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